Where have I been?
Where have I been? I have just been here.
After the Christmas craziness, my house fell into rack and ruin (wrack and ruin?). More so than is usual for me, anyway. First, I had the brilliant notion that I wouldn't allow myself to go online or make any art until I got everything done around the house that I wanted to get done.
Hmmph! You know that saying, "If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it?" Well, I think there must be something to that. As soon as I wasn't overloading myself, I stopped doing anything. So I guess if I'm not being a part of the artistic community or making art then I'm not doing crap, basically. Add to that, if I'm not making art then I'm depressed. So that was a bad idea.
Then, it had been so long I felt like I had to give a rundown on all that had gone on in my life up to the point of my blog post. Which is silly, it's not like I had a baby or won the lottery or anything. I struggled and struggled, trying to write the perfect blog post. You know the one; it's the one where you show yourself in the very best light while also being personal , where you show great feats of artistic accomplishment, domestic aptitude, beautiful children, and a spotless
Then more time had passed and then I felt like I really had to write a great post. This idea grew and grew until it was one big, ginormous, 300 ton boulder in the way of my blog writing. I think I gave myself writer's block.
Finally, finally! I gave up on that idea.
So here I am. Just me; perpetually behind, fairly slacker-ish, intermittently artistically inspired, mom, wife. Far less than picturesque. Completely lacking in the schedule-following department. (I always think that if I could come up with the perfect schedule, I could get everything done that I want to get done. Hah!)
I'm just a seeker in life. A seeker of my truth. One that doesn't necessarily include perfection.
That's a hard one to let go of. Like most of us, I love the idea of perfection. But the reality is, I don't love it so much that I'm willing to sacrifice other things in life that I love. Even if some of the things I love in life are kind of silly (like computer games).
In a perfect world I would get up early, serve my child homemade something-or-other for breakfast, effortlessly clean my house, blog, contribute to my forums/groups, and then put in a 6-8 hour day of art making while also serving a homemade lunch and dinner to the family, exfoliating, giving myself a mani/pedi, and exercising for an hour; thus leaving the evening free to spend quality time with my husband discussing art and politics. (apparently groceries magically appear in this world)
In my real world I stay up too late playing computer games, read my book in the morning after serving my child some kind of cereal or store-made pumpkin bread item, feel lucky if I either do the dishes or get a load of laundry going, seldom leave the house before noon, and if I have to go grocery shopping while Rexy's at school you can just kiss art-making good bye for the day. I do spend time with the husband in the evening - but we usually just watch TV. Forget about personal grooming - any extra time I have is spent playing with my girl, going to play dates, and struggling to keep the fallout from our pack rat tendencies at bay.
(All that being said, I still think I should create some kind of schedule...)
With all this in mind, I came across this week's Melange on Etsy Challenge. This week's challenge prompt is "Bliss." What that immediately brought to mind is Joseph Campbell's phrase, "Follow your bliss..." What does it mean to "follow your bliss?" For me it means really coming to terms with exactly who I am and what I want and then arranging my life to accommodate those things. More poetically put, "Be a seeker of truth and a builder of dreams." And so I painted this last painting. (Our 2 (!) tripods have been misplaced by the DH, so I couldn't get a full frontal pic. Above is the scanner image and below is the best I could do without a tripod.)
I so love my friend Pam Carriker's color palette that I thought I would try an homage to it. I don't think I achieved her beautiful, subtle layers. I may try to sneak some more texture into it later.
Lastly, I'll leave you with a picture of my beautiful girl. She's turned 5 and graduated from preschool since I've been blog-absent.